Rose, the red-haired girl

 It was then that Rosa, with her forehead in her hands, suddenly remembered her mother, the church in her village, and her first communion. She felt as if she had returned to that day when she was so small, completely enveloped in her white dress, and she began to cry.

Guy de Maupassant: “La Maison Tellier”

I woke up thinking the day would unfold just as I had planned the night before. I would take the bus 11 to Government Centre; I would search for and find a shop that sold postcards to send to my friends in Austin, Montreal, Rozenburg, and Tours; and I would spend the afternoon at Bayfront Park, watching the passersby and the cruise ships in the harbour, admiring the sky, the sea, and the palm trees while reading the novel I was engrossed in, “Snow Falling on Cedars”. When I got hungry, I would grab something to eat at Bayside Market; then I would stroll along Brickell Avenue until I reached the Rickenbacker Causeway, where I would arrive at the William Powell Bridge. There, standing on the bridge, I would wait for the sunset. In short, it was meant to be a relaxing day. However, things didn’t turn out that way. An unexpected event disrupted my plans. I don’t usually encounter situations like that, and when I do, fear often prevents me from acting. I don’t have the bravery to confront it directly. 
    I had a difficult time finding them, the postcards, that is. Other than the popular tourist spots, few places carry them these days. But that wasn't my only problem, as I also needed stamps. I asked at a few souvenir shops, but none had any. I also had to locate a mailbox, and none seemed to be in sight (What’s wrong with the U.S. Mail?). In the end, I found a UPS Store where I was able to mail my postcards.
     I then headed towards Biscayne Boulevard. Upon reaching North East 2nd Avenue, I spotted her. There she was, standing, casually leaning against the wall and smiling at me. That caught me off guard. It felt strange; women don't usually look at me like that. I assumed she might be soliciting money, so I looked down and quickened my pace. When I was finally close enough, she tried to stop me.  
     “Hey!” she called out. “Do you have a moment?” 
     “I'm sorry,” I replied, avoiding her eyes. “I'm in a hurry.”
     I ignored her and continued on my way. As I approached the corner, the traffic light turned red. During those few seconds of waiting, her face lingered in my thoughts. Once the light changed to green, it suddenly hit me. “What a fool I am! Of course, she's at work! No wonder she was smiling at me,” I realized. “Honestly, I don’t have much experience with situations like this one,” I thought, trying to make sense of my confusion.
     I felt deeply moved and, for no apparent reason, anxious. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind. Overcoming my hesitation, I decided to do something I had never attempted before: I turned to face her. She remained in the same spot, still looking at me and smiling. With a sense of shyness and moving slowly, keeping my eyes lowered, I moved closer to her. Once I was at her side, feeling embarrassed, I kept my gaze fixed on the ground. I took a quick glance and noticed she was a young woman, neatly groomed, adorned in an elegant, fitted dress that gracefully fell just below her knees.
     “How much do you charge for an hour, ma’am?” I stammered, blushing and avoiding her gaze.  
     “Two hundred dollars,” she replied.  
     “Alright,” I agreed.  
   “We can go to my apartment, which is nearby. I promise it's a clean place,” she explained. “Or we can go wherever you'd like.”  
     “I'm heading to Bayfront Park,” I said, my voice still low and hesitant. “I just want you to keep me company.  
     “Seriously?” she asked, surprised.  
     “Absolutely,” I assured her.  
     “Okay then!” she exclaimed, still skeptical. “You’re the one footing the bill.”
     After crossing Biscayne Boulevard, we entered the park, walking side by side along the winding paths, without exchanging words or glances. There were just a handful of people nearby: a couple strolling hand in hand, another pair kissing by a palm tree, and a few mothers supervising their children in the playground. The radiant sky, the towering clouds, the blue ocean, and the gentle breeze brushing against my face calmed me down.
     “What brings you here?” she asked, breaking the silence.  
     “I'm staying for three months,” I replied.  
     “If you're feeling so lonely, why are you doing it?”  
    “It’s winter where I currently live. For six months, it’s dark, with sub-zero temperatures, frigid storms, and piles of snow. I had to migrate south, like the wild geese. I didn’t have anyone to join me, so I came by myself.”  
      “That sounds awful.”  
     “Our language has a wealth of words for describing winter phenomena: snow, snowflake, slush, snowfall, blizzard, whiteout, freezing rain, ice, black ice, ice storm, drifting snow, and wet snow.”
      “Holy cow!” she exclaimed. “What were you doing in Flagler?”
     “I was trying to find a store that sells postcards to send to my friends. It took me a while to track one down. Don't people send postcards anymore?”
    “These days, folks snap pictures with their smartphones and share them via WhatsApp. It's super convenient. The downside is that many end up sending photos of every little moment. It's as if they can't disconnect; their vacations and everything they do only seem to count if everyone else is in the loop. There's this overwhelming need to broadcast our experiences to the world.”
     “I still prefer the old-fashioned way,” I responded. “My friends enjoy getting a postcard from a faraway place, signed by a friend. It brings me joy too. It feels meaningful. Don't you agree? Wouldn't you like to receive postcards from your pals?”
     “I don't have any friends,” she replied with a hint of sadness in her voice. “And even if I did, they'd likely just do what everyone else does and send me pictures from their phones via WhatsApp.”
     “What’s your take on this city?” she pressed on.
     “I like it. The tropical landscape is stunning; the ocean and beaches are spectacular. Yet, it’s a place of stark contrasts, with great wealth on one side and extreme poverty on the other. Right there, under the interstate highway overpass, there’s a community of homeless people living in tents. But then again, I’m not sure why I’m surprised. Where I live we deal with the same problem. The homeless individuals are not the problem; it’s the difficulty in finding the political will and resources needed to help them improve their situation. It’s a disgrace, not just for them but for society as a whole, that allows such things to happen. We squander an absurd amount of money on trivial matters.
  “Here, the situation is only getting worse. Some of the causes include gentrification, illegal immigration, the growing inequality between the wealthy and the poor, corruption, and the collusion between politicians and corporations,” she remarked, grimacing in disapproval. “Do you just want me to keep you company? Wouldn’t you prefer to have some action instead?”
     “I just want you to keep me company so we can chat,” I stressed.  
     “Don't you find women like me attractive?”
    “I have nothing against women like you. The fact that I'm here with you proves it, doesn’t it?”  
     “True, but we’re just talking. Would the idea of being intimate with me disgust you?”  
     “Let's just say that right now, I simply need some companionship.”  
    As we strolled along the park paths, I couldn't help noticing how much she stood apart from the crowd. While everyone else—both locals and tourists alike—wore T-shirts, shorts, jeans, and sandals, she was elegantly dressed, with her hair and makeup perfectly done, as if she were on her way to a party. I suggested we sit on a bench near the statue of Julia Tuttle, and she agreed. I took a seat at one end of the bench while she settled at the other.
     “I’ve noticed you only glance at me from the corner of your eye. I can sense what you’re thinking right now. Everyone is curious about why and how an eight-year-old girl, who just had her first communion, ends up in prostitution.  
   “No, I don’t want to know,” I lied. “I’m not interested. It’s none of my business”. However, she continued speaking as if she hadn’t heard my words.  
    “My name is Rose. I’m from Louisiana, from a little town called Belle Fontaine. An old variant of French is still spoken there; I grew up speaking that language. As a child, they called me Rosa la Rousse because of my red hair. After I finished high school, I didn’t go to college. I wanted to escape the dull, provincial life of Belle Fontaine. I was raised in a repressive family of religious zealots that regarded everything as a sin. I longed to break free from that as well. I suggested to my boyfriend that he come with me, but he wasn’t interested; in fact, he chose to end our relationship. He admitted he was seeing someone else. Sadly, after that, I fell in with the wrong crowd. I drifted for a period, living on the streets; then I took a job at a massage parlour, later moved on to a strip club, and ultimately found myself doing what I do now.    
     “Look, you don’t need to share anything with me. I’m not judging you.”  
     “But deep down, you’re curious, aren’t you?”
    “Well, I’ll admit that I am. I do have some questions, if it’s alright for you to talk about your work.”  
    “Yes, it is alright. I don’t mind.”
   “There are many terms used to refer to women in your profession: whores, hookers, barmaids, cabaret girls, streetwalkers, prostitutes, women of the night, escorts, call girls, and sluts. What do you prefer to be called?” 
   “Those are all very hideous, offensive, and insulting words. I prefer the term ‘sex worker’. It sounds much nicer.  
     “Are there many people in this city making a living like you do?”
    “Yes. I suppose it’s a… I was going to say ‘a social problem’, but for many of us, it’s actually a good thing. Here, the situation isn’t as desperate,” she continued. “In other places with greater poverty, many women turn to this activity for survival, literally to feed their children, like Fantine in Les Misérables.”
     “How do you handle your life? Do you have a… let’s call it… a manager for your business?”  
    “No. I’m independent. I have my own apartment. Occasionally I work for an escort service. Clients call in, speak with a secretary, set up an appointment, and specify their preferences, and I meet them at their hotels. This arrangement is safer, although the escort service takes $100 from each booking. Some girls operate in private apartments where the owners keep half of their earnings. Most of us are in this line of work for financial reasons.”  
     “Do you enjoy your work?”  
    “To be honest, no,” she sighed. “I do it for the money. Every now and then you encounter a decent guy who not only pays well but also makes the experience pleasant while treating you with kindness. But there also are times when you are mistreated. Many of us resort to drugs to cope with this job.”
    “Do you really do it out of necessity? You mentioned it yourself; we’re not in a poor country here.”  
     “You're right about that. But the lure of money is incredibly strong.”
    “How do you keep yourself safe? I imagine you sometimes end up in risky situations.”
    “I always carry a gun in my bag. Want to check it out? It's legal.”
     “Uh, no,” I answered. “Don't the police ever give you any trouble?”  
     “Not usually; they often look the other way, or you slip them a bribe. But you need to be careful: there are times when you run into a jerk who wants to exploit the situation.”
     “Do you think legalizing your profession would improve your working conditions?” 
   “Many of us hope that the government will acknowledge this work and officially recognise it as a legitimate job. If they do, we would be able to pay taxes and receive benefits, like retirement plans. Women would register. The authorities would regulate our work, conduct health inspections, provide vaccinations, and similar services. Some individuals could generate income by establishing private, clean, and safe clubs, allowing women to avoid roaming the streets in hostile and dangerous neighbourhoods. Moreover, some of us could transition into businesswomen, employing secretaries. We would set up our enterprises in designated areas, similar to the Red Light District in the Netherlands. Did you know that prostitution is legal there?”
     “Yes.”  
     “It’s better that way. Don’t you agree?”  
     “I’m not sure. I have mixed feelings.”
    “Why? What are you uncertain about? In the Netherlands, women work in a much safer environment. If anyone attempts to assault them, they can easily contact the police for help. Making it legal would help eliminate pimps and allow for better regulation of underage prostitution. In that country, the minimum age to engage in our profession is 21. At that age, one has more confidence and is better equipped to make critical decisions, especially regarding complex matters like sex work. This regulation could also help put an end to forced prostitution and human trafficking. Despite this, some, including myself, prefer to remain anonymous; it’s still a sensitive matter to disclose how one earns a living, especially to family.” 
    “Many people believe that your line of work is immoral and do not want the government to legalize it.”
   “The opposition primarily comes from religious groups and feminists who believe that prostitution should not be considered a legitimate job and should be eliminated. I consider that to be a great injustice. Recently, a colleague of mine was arrested for engaging in prostitution and sentenced to a month in jail. Just think about it. The ruling classes get away with all sorts of crimes, such as tax evasion and colluding with corporations. They invade other countries and steal, plunder natural resources, leaving ecological devastation in their wake; they set up puppet regimes that persecute, torture, and kill dissenters; they bomb and kill civilian populations, including men, women, and children. Tell me, who among them is in prison paying for their crimes? No one! So, why should that young woman be locked up? Does that seem fair to you?
     “No,” I replied, surprised by the strong sociopolitical critique she had just delivered. “What would you say is the most detrimental aspect of your work?”
      “The emotional aspect. It's challenging to lead a normal life, make friends, or attend a party. What could I say if someone asked what I do for a living? That I'm a prostitute? There's also the impact on my romantic and sexual life. We're human, and we need affection. But the best I can aspire to is having a good friend. I could never have a genuine partner, because, even if he accepted my profession, we could never share an intimate relationship. You end up losing your sex drive, as sex turns into a task, something you do all day or all night as part of your job."
     “Having a day job, like being a tour guide, for instance, could be helpful.”
     “I guess so.”  
     “Do your parents in Belle Fontaine know how you make a living?”
     “No, they don’t.”  
     “Will you ever tell them?”  
    “My mother passed away when I was still a teenager, and it would be really difficult to tell my father the truth.”
     “What would you do if you became pregnant? Would you consider having an abortion?” 
     “I did it once. I wouldn’t want to go through that again.” 
     “And if you had a child, how would you handle that?” 
     “I would need to switch careers.”
     “Have you ever considered returning to school to learn a different trade that, while maybe not as lucrative, could be more fulfilling and less complicated?” 
      “Yes, I have.”  
     “I’m a bit hungry and could use a coffee. There’s a lovely bakery at Bayside Market that also serves excellent coffee. I’d like to invite you. Would you like to join me?”
      “Yes, I’d like that.”

After we left the bakery, I led her under the iconic Bayside Banyan Tree, which, at the moment, was deserted.  
     “The hour's finished,” I said, glancing at her sideways. “Here are the two hundred dollars, just as we agreed.”  
      “Actually, you don’t have to pay me,” she said hesitantly, her voice wavering and her eyes cast downward. “I didn’t really do anything.”  
     “On the contrary! I assure you that there are connections that are far more intimate and enjoyable than intercourse. Take the money; it's yours—don’t be silly.”
     I grasped one of her hands in mine and placed the money, which she was reluctant to accept, into her palm. I forced her to close her fist around it.  
     “Thank you. Best of luck!” I said abruptly, avoiding her eyes, before quickly walking away.
     While I stood waiting for the traffic light to change on Biscayne Boulevard, I felt a burning sensation on my back, as if someone were intensely staring at me from behind. Once again, a wave of anxiety and confusion washed over me, and a strong desire to look back hit me. For a brief moment I hesitated to do so. But when I finally worked up the courage to turn around, I saw her exactly where I had left her, looking intently at me, as desolate as the banyan tree. At that moment, I noticed she began to walk slowly towards me. As she reached my side, I was finally able to see her face clearly. I examined her carefully. Oh! She seemed so young and so innocent! Her eyes were brimming with tears, and I felt a lump rise in my throat.
     “Listen, every Wednesday afternoon, I come to the Bayfront Park to read, and I always sit on the same bench,” I stated seriously and a bit abruptly. “If you’d like to continue our conversation about the world's injustices and the criminals in power, you can wait for me there, by the statue of Julia Tuttle.”
     Her expression brightened, she smiled for the first time, and a tear rolled down her cheek.
     “Then… I suppose… I’ll see you later,” I said, feeling troubled, as though a mechanism that was going to disrupt the routine of my life had been activated against my will, leaving me powerless to stop it. 
     The traffic light turned green, and I rushed across the street. Once I reached the other side, I paused and couldn’t resist the urge to turn around to look at her. She was standing there, on the opposite side of the street, looking at me. When the light was green again, she started crossing over to me. Upon reaching me, she appeared a bit lost and restless, clearly eager to talk but uncertain about what to say.  
     “What are you going to do now?” she managed to ask.  
     “I’m heading to the William Powell Bridge to watch the sunset.  
     “Can I come with you?” she nearly pleaded. “I won’t charge you.”  
     “Sure,” I responded. “But what about your job?”  
     “I can take a day off from time to time, can’t I?”
     In Biscayne Bay, the land is situated to the west, which means the sun does not sink below the ocean’s horizon; it doesn’t leave behind the brilliant golden trail across the water that enchants those of us who admire this natural phenomenon. Instead, it sets behind the city, specifically beyond the Vizcaya Museum or Brickell. Just as no two snowflakes are alike, no two sunsets are the same. This particular sunset was unique. The celestial blaze created by the dying sun behind the skyline painted the clouds—cumulus, cirrus, and stratus—hanging over the city with vibrant hues of red, orange, and yellow. To enhance the visual delight, this canvas was mirrored on the watery strip separating the bridge from the city, with Rose's presence completing the scene.

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© Translated from the Spanish by William Almonte Jiménez, 2026
© Spanish title: “Rosa La Rousse”
© William Almonte Jiménez, 2023
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Drago And Krisztina

 I must love what I destroy
and destroy the thing I love.
—Sting: “Moon Over Bourbon Street”.

Over the course of his long and solitary existence, his only interactions with others were limited to the brief moments shared with the girls he methodically murdered. He was unable to resist. He felt compelled to respond to the wild scream coming from deep within and give in to the primal instincts driving his actions. He found himself trapped in this way of life much like an innocent lamb. He learned to accept his circumstances and the grotesque reality to which he had descended. From then on, killing became an effortless task for him.    
     Everything changed when he crossed paths with Krisztina. When he was stalking her, he couldn’t unleash the beasts within him, resigning himself to follow her home, walking behind her. Once she was inside, he would hide in the alley behind her building. From there, in the darkness, he watched over her as she slept, gazing at her window as if instead of wanting to kill her, he were trying to protect her. Drago didn’t understand why this was happening. Perhaps it was because she stirred memories of the man he once was. In any case, he couldn’t have anticipated that on that night he would commit an act he never thought himself capable of. 
     Crouched in an alleyway, listening to his breath and unconcerned by the foul odor of decaying garbage that filled the air, Drago kept the collar of his trench coat turned up and his hat pulled down in such a way as to hide his beastly eyes and partially conceal his face—pale as the moonlight illuminating it. He watched intently the lamplight that lit up the cobblestone corner of Carfax Avenue and Bourbon Street. He grew impatient. Why was she taking so long? Hadn't she gone to work that day? Had she changed jobs? Had she moved to another neighborhood?     

He recalled the first time he saw her. Through the smoke and dim light of the bar where she worked, he watched her ascend the stairs to the stage. A saxophone belched out mundane notes that echoed against the grimy walls and clung to the skin of those present. She was young, but not as much as some of the underage prostitutes who roamed the area, some of whom had been his victims. Once she reached the top, the room erupted into cheers and shouts, followed by an abrupt silence. All eyes were on her. Gradually, she began to remove her clothes, eventually exposing herself to the audience. The drunken, lonely patrons gazed at her as if she were the embodiment of their fantasies, the full realization of their deepest desires, perhaps the last remnant of innocence left in the world. She feigned a smile and pretended to pay them attention. Yet, as she performed her routine, her thoughts drifted to distant places and times, shielded within a protective armor that kept her madness at bay. 
     That night, Drago waited for her outside the bar and boarded the Carfax Avenue streetcar right after her. He took a seat at the back of the vehicle and got off when she did at Bourbon Street. Keeping a cautious distance, he trailed her to the rundown apartment building in Targumures where she lived. From the alley behind the building, he kept an eye on her window. He imagined her naked, envisioning his hands gliding over her body as he explored her mouth, her breasts, and her most intimate areas. He longed to go up to her room and experience the intense thrill of a predator overpowering its helpless and frightened prey and ultimately put an end to her life. However, he chose to remain outside, guarding her home, until the first rays of dawn forced him to vanish. This ritual went on for weeks.

After midnight, the Carfax Avenue streetcar made its final stop of the day at Bourbon Street, right at the point where the avenue ended and the tracks turned back. Once the only passenger got off, the streetcar reversed direction in a haste, causing the tracks to screech and the street to tremble—as if it wanted to leave that intersection behind as quickly as possible, almost as if it preferred not to head in that direction at all. In reality it couldn’t have gone any further even if it wanted to. Carfax Avenue concluded at Bourbon Street, and beyond that lay the Bathory Cemetery, blocking its way. Yet, more than just that barrier, it was likely its mechanical instincts that warned the streetcar against venturing any further into that forbidden territory.
     When Krisztina stepped off the tram, she glanced around warily, crossed the street, and quickened her pace down Borgo Lane. Like an extension of Carfax Avenue, Borgo Lane was a shadowy path flanked by tall trees with lush canopies, slicing the cemetery into two halves and leading to some abandoned railway tracks. Several dilapidated, motionless, and enigmatic carriages were parked on the tracks, with holes in their walls that looked like eyes peering out from the inside. On the other side of the tracks lay the neighborhood of Targumures, called that way because nearly all its residents hailed from a place of the same name in the Carpathian Mountains.
     Unlike the streetcar, the residents of Targumures, driven by irrational instincts, dared to traverse Borgo Lane to avoid a long detour around the cemetery's edge. This shortcut was quite convenient, leading them directly to the intersection of Bourbon Street and Carfax Avenue, where they could board the streetcar. They made this risky journey twice daily: through the morning fog on their way to work and again under the cover of night when they returned home.
     Such behavior was difficult to rationalize. The area was shrouded in darkness, as light never fully reached it, even during the daytime, due to the tall trees with dense canopies that were scattered all around. Numerous broken tombstones lay on the damp, foul-smelling grass, while much of the stonework meant to secure the crypts’ entrances was crumbling, leaving the entryways wide open. The wind whistled as it bounced off the trees and gravestones, at times sounding like voices, screams, and moans. And as if that weren't enough to deter anyone from wandering through those grounds, there were rumors about the mysterious disappearances of some individuals who had crossed the cemetery via Borgo Lane.
     In fact, it wasn't just mere hearsay. Several murdered individuals had been  found in the morning with their bodies completely drained of blood, lying beside some of the graves located on the edge of the alley. The residents of Targumures, who were inclined to superstition, attributed the deaths to the work of the Devil. Nevertheless, the locals chose to pass through that dreadful area to get to their jobs and homes, rather than taking a long detour. The convenience of the shortcut outweighed their common sense. 
     As she had in the past, Krisztina felt the unsettling sensation of being watched. The first time occurred late one night as she walked home from work along Borgo Lane, as usual. Hearing footsteps behind her, she quickened her pace, only to realize that the footsteps were accelerating as well. Overcome by panic, she broke into a run. Gasping for breath, she finally reached her building, raced up the stairs, and entered her apartment. Before drawing the curtains, she cautiously peeked out the window that overlooked the alley. For a moment she believed she spotted a shadow lurking outside. In reality, she only glimpsed the moonlight reflecting off a set of white teeth. As time passed, the anxiety sparked by that unseen presence began to diminish, and since nothing serious had happened to her thereafter, she became accustomed to it. Still, as she rushed home, she pondered why she persisted in taking that risky path back to her place in Targumures. Perhaps it was her pressing desire to shower and wash away any lingering remnant of smoke, alcohol, foul words, and men from her body and mind.
     Every day, right after finishing her shower, she would immediately crawl into bed, and thankfully, she would sleep soundly through the night and into the morning. She would rise after noon, prepare a meal for herself, and eat alone at the table. Then she would get ready for work. Before heading out, she would open a trunk, pull out a doll she had kept since childhood, and hug it tightly. She would also kiss a photograph of herself with her mother, the only person she remembered having loved, who had risked her life to shield her from her father's abuse. Once her mother passed away, her father's sexual advances forced her to flee their home. It wasn’t long before others came along who tried to exploit her, and they might have succeeded if not for help from an unexpected and unreliable source.
     Krisztina used to ask for money outside the bar where she would later work. The owner of the place noticed her due to her striking beauty and offered her a job as a stripper. Finding herself in a precarious situation, she reluctantly agreed, only after he assured her that all she had to do was to undress on the stage. Surprisingly, the man kept his promise, even going so far as to instruct the bouncers to protect her and ensure that no one forced her into anything against her will. This was how she made her living. The price of this financial gain, however, was a life devoid of love. Disillusioned by men who only wanted her for a physical relationship, she struggled to build any meaningful romantic connections. As she often said, after spending most of her day and night surrounded by a pack of predators, the last thing she wanted was for another man to lay a hand on her.
     At times, she vented her frustrations, cursing, lamenting, and blaming life itself for all the hardships she had endured and the turmoil her life had turned into. In those moments, she found solace in memories of her mother, who had bravely stood up to her father's aggression. She had learned to disdain men, feeling nothing toward them but disgust. She could not foresee that an extraordinary event was about to take place that night—one that would completely transform her feelings.   
     As Krisztina approached the railroad tracks, a figure suddenly emerged from behind one of the train cars. Before she had a chance to respond, a powerful grip clutched her neck while another hand muffled her mouth. Observing the paleness of his face and hands, along with his bloodshot eyes and enormous teeth, Krisztina felt she grasped the situation entirely. With a terrified look and her body shaking, trying to scream, she seemed to plead for mercy. In Dragos’s grip, her tears felt like scalding water.
     For the first time Drago had her within his reach. The girl’s racing heart, her strained breathing, and her heaving chest stirred the demons within him. The overpowering desire to rip her dress, possess her, and bring her life to an end was utterly irresistible. Gripping her neck firmly and gazing intently with his cold, glassy eyes into hers, Drago hesitated. In that fleeting moment, he felt as though he were seeing his entire centuries-long existence reflected in Krisztina’s eyes. Memories of the girls he had raped and murdered without a shred of remorse—like any wild beast that kills simply to survive—flashed through his mind. Confused and enraged, he wondered why fate had put him at this crossroads, why he had to love what he ought to destroy and destroy what he loved. Just as Krisztina began to faint, he snapped out of his trance. Panicking at the thought that he might have killed her, he suddenly released her, and she fell hard against the rails.
     When she regained consciousness, he was still standing next to her, gazing at her with bewildered eyes. Overcome with fear, she slowly managed to get on her feet and stumbled across the tracks and the street toward her home. Rushing up the stairs and gasping for breath, she entered her apartment, secured the door with three bolts, and drew the curtains shut. Then, exhausted, she collapsed onto her bed and cried for a long time before finally drifting off to sleep.
     In the early hours of the day, she woke up, sat up, and peered out the window that overlooked the train tracks. Drago remained there, standing still, his gaze locked on her window. Through her sobs and with considerable effort, Krisztina managed to voice a desperate plea and shouted: "Don't just stay there. The sun will rise soon. You have to leave."
      Drago remained motionless and unresponsive. As the first rays of light touched him, he felt his skin start to burn. As the sun climbed higher, an intense heat consumed his insides, and soon, his body burst into flames like a blazing torch. The darkness that pursued him, while incinerating his existence, also provided a strange tranquility, alleviating the torment he had endured for ages. Amid the flames, he still caught sight of  Krisztina, staring at him in terror from the window. That was the final image he could hold on to.
     As dawn broke in all its splendor, Krisztina rushed out of her apartment and, as if driven by madness, ran towards the rail tracks. Where Drago had stood only moments earlier, there was now nothing but a pile of dust. She sank to her knees in front of the remnants of the monster, gathering the ashes of the beast in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably. Glancing up at the sky, she suddenly let out a horrifying scream that echoed through the deserted streets of Targumures. After a brief pause, still shaken, she let the last traces of her protector slip through her fingers and began to make her way home. Disoriented and feeling as though she had lost something invaluable, overwhelmed by despair and lonelier than ever, she struggled to understand why a murderer had chosen to die instead of killing her.

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© Translated from the Spanish by William Almonte Jiménez, 2026.
© Spanish title: “Drago y Krisztina”.
© William Almonte Jiménez, 2014.
© Inspired by the song: “Moon Over Bourbon Street”, by Sting.
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Colegio San Francisco

El calor vespertino me recuerda situaciones del pasado, especialmente de mi niñez en el trópico, una época en la que muchas posibilidades, sencillas e inofensivas, me quedaban por delante. 
      Unos minutos antes de las dos de la tarde, me dirigía al Colegio San Francisco de Asís, como llevado por una ensoñación, a través del túnel de árboles que formaba la Avenida Hermanas Mirabal. El árbol bajo el cual jugábamos, en el centro del patio, lo recuerdo inmenso, proyectando una sombra gigantesca, como queriendo defendernos de la maldad y preservar inalterado el bienestar que nos envolvía.
      Todas mis maestras eran muy chéveres. No me acuerdo de una sola que me cayera mal.
     Lucía era una morena chulísima, de pelo negro y lacio, y ojos que centelleaban igual que los astros. La fortuna quiso que fuera mi maestra de primer grado. Cada vez que estallaba el temporal y el patio se inundaba, ella interrumpía las clases. Entonces, nos poníamos a hacer barquitos de papel, los montábamos sobre el lomo de una onda y los veíamos perderse en algún abismo que los llevaría a mundos incógnitos y remotos.
     Marta tenía una tez que se asemejaba a la miel o al caramelo. Siempre llevaba los cabellos recogidos en un moño. Tenía cara de malhumorada, siempre frunciendo el ceño, pero en realidad era muy tierna. La vida me premió con la dicha de que fuera mi maestra de segundo grado. Fue ella quien consideró que yo era muy aplicado y estaba lo bastante preparado para pasar al cuarto año. Así se lo propuso y consiguió convencer al director del colegio, un cura franciscano venido de España, igual que muchos de los sacerdotes de esa época en mi pueblo natal. De esa manera me libré de hacer el tercero y me adelanté a los demás muchachos de mi edad.
     Consuelo era madre de tres, esposa de uno, y mi profesora de cuarto curso, a quien quería mucho. Su cara manifestaba la desdicha de un matrimonio malogrado. ¿Que cómo podía un niño de nueve años enterarse de esos asuntos? Lo sé, porque impresa en algún escondrijo de mi memoria está la estampa de Consuelo conversando con otra maestra sobre las penosas circunstancias por las que estaba pasando. El nombre le servía de poco.
     Camila era una gordita, chiquita y muy sensual, que el azar puso en mi camino para que fuera mi maestra de quinto grado. Digo que era sensual porque así me enseñó a verla Miguel. Y lo digo en retrospectiva; en esa época mi vocabulario no daba para tanto. Miguel se pasaba todo el tiempo escudriñándole el busto a Camila y secreteándome a mí. Una vez me dijo que parecía que la profesora quería coger, porque tenía los senos paraditos, y que si una mujer tenía los pechos así, era señal de que tenía ganas de sexo con un hombre. ¡Parece increíble! Apenas teníamos diez años y ya le deseábamos las tetas a la maestra. 
     Como si soñar con los pezones de Camila no hubiera sido suficiente para mantenernos distraídos, a mediados del quinto curso llegó Clara. El Colegio San Francisco de Asís era exclusivamente para varones. Al otro lado de la calle se encontraba el Colegio San José, únicamente para niñas. La familia de Clara se había mudado a Santiago de otra de las provincias del interior en medio del año escolar. Resultó que no había espacio para ella en el Colegio San José, de manera que le permitieron terminar el año escolar en el nuestro. ¡Qué suerte tienen algunos! En todo el colegio había una muchacha y sólo una, y a nuestro quinto curso le tocó la ventura de tenerla. Podría pensarse que debió haber sido sobrecogedor para una muchacha ser la única alondra entre una bandada de cuervos. Sin embargo, no fue así. En esa época aún no habíamos perdido por completo la inocencia. A Clara la tratábamos igual que a una reina, nos desvivíamos por complacerla y competíamos por su atención. Su nombre fue premonitorio, porque Clara se llamaba la única compañera de clase de la que me enamoré al cursar la secundaria.

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© William Almonte Jiménez, 2005 
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Summer

Summer afternoons have the power to snatch from my mind memories of events I have never lived. When sunlight penetrates my eyes, through the retina, it triggers electrochemical connections in my brain that induce a feeling of euphoria and make me remember. 
     What exactly? I don’t know. I just know that the emotions I’m experiencing seem familiar, whether from my childhood, my time in my mother’s womb, or perhaps from another existence—I can’t say for certain. The one thing I do know is that the warm summer breeze caressing my face, the rustling leaves, the sunlight reverberating on the pavement, the red and yellow wild flowers flirting with the green meadows, the freshly plowed dark soil ready for planting, the billowing clouds overhead, and the deep blue lake all combine to draw me into a state of harmony and luminosity in which I levitate. 
     In this elevated state, my senses and instincts sharpen, allowing me to notice, perceive, and absorb everything surrounding me. Then it becomes clear to me why ancient civilizations worshipped the sun. It feels far more meaningful than venerating an abstract, anthropomorphic God.
     During summer, days are longer, and so is life. The sun shines abundantly from early in the morning until late at night. And yet, it often feels like there isn’t enough time to accomplish all that one might wish to.       Some of the possible activities are cycling through Highland Creek, Leslie Spit, Mount Pleasant Cemetery, or the Brickworks; attending jazz performances at Nathan Philips Square; enjoying the International Hispanic Fiesta at Harbourfront; experiencing LatinFest in Mel Lastman Square; celebrating Caribana along the Lakeshore; watching Shakespeare plays in High Park; marveling at fireworks at Ontario Place; rocking out at concerts in Wonderland; browsing the book fair on Queen Street; picnicking on Centre Island; taking a swim in the lake at Cherry Beach; or just strolling or driving around town while admiring a multitude of scantily clad women.
     Summer offers me the opportunity to experience what feels like a whole year within just three months, before the gloomy clouds roll in, and I feel guilty if I let it slip away. It's a time of festivals, rituals, and celebrating life. 
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© Translated from the Spanish by William Almonte Jiménez, 2025
© Spanish title: “Verano”
© William Almonte Jiménez, 2005
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Presentación

William Almonte (williamalmonte@hotmail.com) nació en Santiago, República Dominicana, y actualmente reside en Canadá. Sus relatos exploran temas que son comunes y profundos a la vez: el poder de las palabras; la urgencia de escribir; el miedo a lo desconocido; la disyuntiva de vivir intensamente o limitarse a lo familiar; los amores contrariados; la soledad existencial y el sentimiento de desarraigo que experimenta el inmigrante en tierras lejanas; los prejuicios raciales; la realidad histórica, política, social y económica de América Latina; los horrores de la guerra; el lado oscuro de la naturaleza humana. Cuestionan ciertas verdades, convenciones y tradiciones que nos han sido impuestas por la iglesia, el estado y la sociedad en general. También tratan de la búsqueda de la salvación por medio de vínculos afectivos con nuestros semejantes, los recuerdos de la infancia y el retorno a las raíces; y finalmente, la persecución del estado de equilibrio y la reconciliación con la vida y la muerte a través del amor. En cierto sentido, se puede afirmar que son variaciones sobre un mismo tema: la naturaleza efímera de las relaciones interpersonales, el amor y, por supuesto, la vida.


Introduction

William Almonte (williamalmonte@hotmail.com) was born in Santiago, Dominican Republic, and currently resides in Canada. His stories explore themes that are both common and profound: the power of words; the urge to write; the fear of the unknown; the choice of living intensely or limiting oneself to what is familiar; unrequited love; the existential loneliness and sense of dislocation experienced by immigrants in foreign lands; racial prejudice; the historical, political, social, and economic landscape of Latin America; the atrocities of war; and the dark side of human nature. They question some truths, conventions, and traditions that have been imposed on us by the Church, the State, and society at large. They also deal with the search for salvation through emotional ties with our fellow human beings; childhood memories and a return to one's origins; and ultimately, the quest for harmony and reconciliation with life and death through love. In many ways, it can be said that they are variations on the same theme: the fleeting nature of relationships, love, and life itself.



Le Rêve d'une Ombre

 La vie n'est que le rêve d'une ombre : je l'ai senti de nouveau ce soir avec intensité. Je ne m'aperçois moi-même que comme une apparence fugitive, comme l'impalpable arc-en-ciel qui flotte un instant sur la bruine, dans cette formidable cascade de l'être qui tombe sans relâche dans l'abîme des jours.

Henri-Frédéric Amiel : Journal Intime, le 29 août 1872.

Mardi dernier, alors que je rentrais de mon travail au lycée Jacques de Vaucanson où j'enseigne l'anglais, j'ai traversé le Pont Wilson sur la Loire, descendu du tramway à la Place Anatole France, puis marché vers mon domicile au 12 Rue de Constantine. C'est à ce moment-là que j'ai remarqué une voiture garée de l'autre côté de la rue, avec une personne qui me fixait. En cherchant mes clés dans mes poches, un tremblement involontaire m'a envahi en réalisant que la fille dans la voiture n'était autre que Valentine.
     Nous nous sommes fixés intensément du regard pendant une minute. Elle avait l'air préoccupée, puis elle a détourné les yeux. J'avais du mal à respirer. Cela faisait déjà plusieurs mois que nous ne nous étions pas parlés. Nous avions eu une dispute à cause de son copain, que je n'apprécie pas, car je pense qu'il a une mauvaise influence sur elle. Elle s'était donc mise en colère et avait déménagé. Avant que je n'entre dans la maison, elle m'a lancé un dernier regard, comme si elle voulait dire : « Adieu papa ». Ensuite, elle a démarré sa voiture et est partie.
     Bouleversé par ce que je venais de vivre, j’ai quand même fini par ouvrir la porte, et je suis entré dans la maison. Dès que j'ai franchi le seuil, j'ai remarqué Gabriel, mon fils qui regardait la télévision. À l’instant où il a perçu ma présence, il m’a appelé : « Viens papa, je veux te montrer quelque chose ». Je lui ai répondu : « Attends un moment, je dois d’abord parler avec ta mère ».
     Ma femme et moi avons quitté le salon pour nous rendre dans la cuisine afin que Gabriel n'entende pas notre conversation. Nous nous sommes installés autour de la table à manger. Une profonde tristesse me serrait la gorge, mais j’ai fini par lui poser la question: « Donc, c’est vrai? ». « Oui » m’a-t-elle répondu. Et avec un mépris évident elle a ajouté : « Elle s’est mariée avec ce type-là ». À cet instant, une vague d'angoisse m'a submergé et j'ai commencé à pleurer.

Tout à coup, mes larmes m'ont réveillé et je me suis interrogé sur le sens de ce rêve. Pourquoi Valentine, vivant à des milliers de kilomètres de moi, avait-elle pénétré mon intimité? Je me mis alors à réfléchir et j'en ai conclu que le passé, très présent dans mon rêve, avait pour but sûrement de me délivrer un message. Gabriel, étant un garçon, symbolisait une époque révolue aujourd'hui. Quant à Valentine, cette fille que je n'ai jamais pu avoir, semblait vouloir me faire comprendre que le temps s’écoule très vite et qu'il est essentiel de se débarrasser de certains espoirs.  
     Mais pourquoi cette jeune fille avait-elle l'air si mélancolique ? Quel message voulait-elle me communiquer ? Était-ce l'impossibilité de la comprendre, de saisir le sens de la vie? Peut-être que ce rêve était également un présage du futur, un oracle dissimulé qui me faisait entrevoir que, malgré toutes les épreuves du temps qui s'échappe, et de la distance qui nous sépare, un espoir était encore possible; et que Valentine (la jeunesse, l’avenir), dans cette voiture symbolisant l’évasion, me transmettait un message codé qui voulait dire : « Ne m'abandonne pas, quoiqu'il arrive et malgré les défis que tu auras à surmonter».   
      Ce rêve, aussi mystérieux qu'il soit et qui me laisse perplexe, me rappelle que les rêves peuvent parfois guider nos vies. Que ce soit des rêves récurrents ou simplement des instants d'évasion, de joie ou de tristesse, ils ont leur importance. Mes paupières s'alourdissent à nouveau, la fatigue m'envahit et je pense que, s'il se reproduit, il finira, au fil du temps, par révéler progressivement tous ses secrets.


©William Almonte Jiménez, 2017
©M.E.C, 2017


Eternal Life

The living room was spacious and dimly lit, partially illuminated by a lamp in one corner. Ice had begun to form along the edges of the windows. Through the thick frost covering the windowpanes, one could only imagine the harshness of the winter night outside.
     His younger brother was asleep while their mother was working the night shift. We were sitting on the sofa, watching one of his favorite shows on TV, side by side, closely together, as if to ease the feeling of loneliness. The large living room always made me aware of that solitude, which, somehow, seemed more intense when his mother was absent.
     “How come kids have fun all day long?” he suddenly asked.
     “That’s just what kids do; they have fun all the time,” I replied, somewhat surprised by the question, not knowing exactly what he meant. “When you’re young, there’s no need to worry because your parents take care of you. But once you grow up, you’ll need to work, get married, and have your own kids,” I added in a casual way, keeping my focus on the television set.
     “How come?” he inquired in a serious tone, as if demanding my full attention.
   “Well, all children eventually grow up and get married, just as you will one day,” I answered, knowing that my words didn’t make complete sense.
     “How come?” he insisted.
    I didn’t know exactly how to reply, but I knew that I had to come up with a better justification. “Sooner or later everybody gets married. You will meet a girl, you will like her, she will like you back, and then you will get married,” I added, still uncertain about that response.
     “What if she already has a husband?” He fired relentlessly, making me uneasy.
     It suddenly became obvious to me that the time I was afraid of had come; the time when my children would start asking serious questions about life’s big issues. I realized I was trying to avoid the pitfalls of giving the wrong answers or giving too much information. “You never marry a girl that already has a husband,” I said, knowing that it was perfectly possible to fall in love with a girl that was already married to another man. But, of course, I wasn’t going to start rationalizing that predicament with him.
      “I will never get married,” he said indifferently.
     “Why?” I inquired, feeling more at ease and seizing the chance to pose the questions.
     “Because I want to stay with you,” he replied as if the answer was obvious.
    I wanted to respond logically to that, but nothing came to my mind. Before I could formulate a thought, he continued with his interrogation.
     “How will you look when I am a grown-up?”
   “I will be older; I will probably have gray hair,” I stated, rather relieved because, in some way, he had changed the subject. The instant I said those words, however, I knew I had taken a turn I shouldn’t have. The respite didn’t last.
     “How come people get old and die?” he promptly inquired, just as I had feared he would.
     We had arrived at the point in the conversation that I was trying to avoid. “I’m not sure, but that’s the way it is,” I replied, lacking conviction.
      Without letting up, there came another query: “If you die, who will take care of me?”
When you grow up, you won’t need me; you’ll take care of yourself. Just look at me: my parents live back home, and I live here. I manage on my own now without needing them to fix my problems. You’ll be able to do the same,” I asserted in a more confident tone, feeling as if I had finally found the right way to navigate this challenging dialogue.
     “What if you die while I am still a child?”
     “You have your mother.”
     “What if Mommy dies?”
     “There are always your grandparents.”
    “True, but they are so far away. How would I get there?”
     “You would go to the airport and buy a plane ticket.”
     “And if the grandparents die, who will look after me?”
   He wouldn’t yield, set on obtaining every answer immediately. Feeling troubled and unsure of how to respond or react, with the intention of putting an end to the questioning, I repeated rather impatiently, “I’ve already told you, you will look after yourself.”
     He began to sob and then moved in closer to hug me. “I don’t want you to die,” he firmly said. It sounded like he was commanding me, “Don’t you dare die on me.” He appeared to be invoking the powers that govern the universe, delivering his ultimate decree: “I prohibit you from claiming my father’s life; that’s my definitive statement.”
     I was feeling cornered and agitated. The conversation I had been dreading unfolded just as I had feared. A wave of anxiety churned in my stomach. I fought to keep the tears from spilling over my eyes. In a moment of desperation, as if I were offering a lifeline to either him or myself, I held him close and softly whispered, “Everything will turn out alright. You don’t need to worry about that. It won't happen anytime soon. In fact, I’ll never die.”
     It was getting late, and he had to get up early in the morning to go to school. I thought it was the ideal reason to wrap up our conversation. I told him that it was time to go to bed. He kissed me goodnight and went to sleep. Then it was my turn to go to bed. While I was in the washroom brushing my teeth and reflecting on our conversation, I noticed him standing by the door.
     “I want to be with you,” he said.
     After I finished brushing my teeth, I took him to bed and pulled the blanket over him. As I sat next to him, I gently stroked his hair until he dozed off. I stayed there a while after he fell asleep, feeling guilty and pondering how I might explain the complexities of life to a six-year-old without lying. How could I provide an answer when I didn’t have a reasonable explanation myself? How could I do it when I felt that despite all my experiences, I still didn’t understand things any better than he did?

© William Almonte Jiménez, 2011
 

Los Hombres No Lloran

Lo más lejos que puedo estirar mi memoria es hasta el día en que murió Noel. No tengo recuerdos de nada que haya ocurrido antes de esa fecha. Aún tengo presente la imagen de mi hermano menor durmiendo en una cama extraña; en ese entonces yo no tenía ni idea de lo que era un ataúd. Se veía tan adorable con ese atuendo. No sabría decir cómo me sentí al respecto, ya que probablemente no entendía la situación. Tal vez me sentía indiferente o incluso un poco entretenido al verlo dormir en esa cama peculiar, con dos hojas de laurel cubriéndole los ojos. Creo que me sentía confundido porque los vecinos seguían entrando a la casa y conversando con mis padres. Seguramente me asusté cuando unos hombres pusieron una tapa sobre el ataúd que contenía a mi hermano, y cuando iban a levantarlo para llevárselo, vi a mamá correr hacia ellos, como una fiera. Entonces abrazó el ataúd, se aferró a él y comenzó a gritar como una loca. Debí sentir mucho miedo al darme cuenta de que algo terrible estaba sucediendo cuando noté que papá también estaba llorando. Siempre había pensado que los hombres no lloran. Muchos años después vería a mi padre llorar una vez más. Al final, cuando mamá logró calmarse, aquellos hombres levantaron el ataúd de mi hermano y lo colocaron dentro de un carruaje tirado por caballos que aguardaba afuera. Luego se lo llevaron.
     Noel murió a causa del cólera, y hasta el último día de su vida, papá lamentó con cierta amargura el hecho de que en ese entonces fuéramos pobres. Estaba convencido de que si hubiéramos tenido dinero para llevarlo a un hospital privado, lo habríamos salvado. Aunque sé que nunca volví a verlo, no estoy seguro de si alguna vez le pregunté a mamá dónde estaba mi hermanito o cuándo regresaría. A veces me pregunto si sólo lo estoy imaginando. ¿Cómo puedo recordarlo? Eso sucedió en 1958. Yo tenía sólo tres años y Noel apenas dos. Es posible que mis recuerdos hayan sido moldeados a partir de los frecuentes relatos de mi madre de esa ocasión. Lo que pudo haber grabado ese evento en mi memoria fue ver llorar a mi padre, una escena que probablemente nunca antes había presenciado. Como dije, ese día sigue siendo mi primer recuerdo de la infancia. 
     Un años más tarde, en 1959, la nación aún se encontraba bajo el yugo de la despiadada dictadura de Rafael Trujillo, que había comenzado en 1930. Vivíamos en un estado de miedo constante mientras el régimen perseguía, torturaba y asesinaba sistemáticamente a los disidentes. Había que tener cuidado con lo que se decía y con quién se socializaba, ya que un vecino, un amigo cercano o incluso un familiar podían fácilmente denunciarte ante las autoridades por tener opiniones contrarias al gobierno. Y entonces, una noche, la policía secreta podía irrumpir en tu casa y llevarte a La Cuarenta, un centro de tortura ubicado en la calle 40 de Santo Domingo. Allí se sometía a los prisioneros a métodos brutales de tortura, como quemaduras con cigarrillos, descargas eléctricas, palizas con martillos o bates de béisbol e incluso la extracción de las uñas, todo en un esfuerzo por obligarte a traicionar a tus colaboradores, si es que los tenías. Si lograbas sobrevivir a tan horrendas torturas, finalmente te mataban y arrojaban tu cuerpo al Mar Caribe, dejando a tu familia sin ninguna esperanza de volver a verte.
     En enero de 1959, los revolucionarios cubanos consiguieron derrocar al dictador Fulgencio Batista. El 14 de junio, exiliados dominicanos, con el apoyo de Fidel Castro, lanzaron una invasión a la República Dominicana desde tres frentes diferentes, con el objetivo de derrocar al dictador Rafael Trujillo. Los rebeldes se dirigieron a Estero Hondo y Maimón remando desde barcos anclados en alta mar, mientras que un contingente más pequeño aterrizó un avión de transporte C-46 en Constanza. Sin embargo, las fuerzas armadas dominicanas, alertadas por sus propios espías, frustraron el asalto marítimo. En Constanza, la mayoría de los rebeldes fueron capturados o asesinados. La fallida invasión intensificó la represión del régimen contra el pueblo. Cualquier persona sospechosa de tener vínculos con los barbudos (los invasores) se enfrentaba a la amenaza de ser capturado, torturado y ejecutado.
     Mi padre era un campesino que, en 1947, a los catorce años, abandonó la granja familiar para forjarse una vida mejor en la ciudad. En 1959, tenía esposa y cuatro hijos (en realidad tres; Noel ya había fallecido), y vivía en la extrema pobreza. No se involucraba en ninguna actividad política; simplemente trabajaba vendiendo billetes de lotería para sacar adelante a su familia. Era simplemente una hombre común tratando de subsistir. Sin embargo, por razones que en ese momento ignoraba, el SIM (Servicio de Inteligencia Militar), la policía secreta, conocida por el público como calieses (matones), comenzó a acosarlo. Lo detenían en las calles, le hacían preguntas extrañas, lo vigilaban y lo seguían en sus Volkswagen negros, llamados cepillos. Papá, asustado y ansioso, decidió hablar con uno de nuestros vecinos, el sargento Collie, que era miembro de la policía regular, para expresarle sus preocupaciones. Ese acto puede haber sido ingenuo e imprudente, pero papá realmente creía que el sargento Collie era un buen hombre. El sargento Collie corroboró que la policía secreta tenía algo en su contra, aunque no sabía exactamente qué. Le aconsejó  que tuviera cuidado, que vigilara su propia sombra y que se mantuviera alejado de los extraños. Esta situación se prolongó durante varios meses, hasta que papá averiguó la razón por la cual lo tenían bajo vigilancia.
    Rivas era un prominente y respetado abogado en la ciudad de Santiago, conocido por su abierta oposición al gobierno. El régimen no lo había asesinado debido a su avanzada edad y al hecho de que no representaba una amenaza seria. También existía la probabilidad de que su muerte provocara un escándalo público considerable y críticas a nivel internacional. Mi padre lo visitaba a menudo tanto en su oficina como en su casa para venderle billetes de lotería. Durante esas visitas entablaban diversas conversaciones y, con el tiempo, forjaron una amistad. Mi padre le contó de sus encuentros con la policía secreta, y Rivas, que era enemigo declarado de Trujillo, le advirtió que podría estar bajo vigilancia porque eran amigos. Le aconsejó encarecidamente que dejara de visitarlo, que se abstuviera de volver a hablar con él y que lo ignorara si se cruzaban en la calle. Mi padre siguió su consejo, y, a partir de entonces, la policía secreta lo dejó en paz. Su experiencia con el SIM terminó sin mayores consecuencias, pero fácilmente papá pudo haber corrido una suerte similar a la de tantos otros. Pudo haber desaparecido una noche sin dejar rastro, y nunca habríamos averiguado su paradero. En 1961, el dictador Rafael Trujillo fue ejecutado por un grupo de disidentes que emboscaron su carro en una carretera en las afueras de la capital Santo Domingo. Eso desencadenó un levantamiento popular que llevó a la caída total del régimen. Luego de este suceso, mi padre y Rivas reanudaron su amistad. 
     En la época y el lugar en que crecí me enseñaron que los hombres no debían llorar.  Papá no lloró en 1959 cuando estaba siendo perseguido por la policía secreta de Trujillo, o cuando lo metieron preso en 1964. Sin embargo, yo no estuve a la altura de esa norma el día que fui a visitarlo en la cárcel. Un vecino, a quien mi padre alquilaba una vivienda, albergaba resentimiento contra él y lo acusó falsamente de esconder armas de fuego ilegales en nuestra casa. A pesar de que no se presentaron cargos formales y nuestra casa nunca fue allanada ni se encontraron armas, mi padre pasó una semana tras las rejas. Los llamados derechos humanos no aplicaban a nosotros. Estar bien conectado con las autoridades otorgaba a algunos el poder de perjudicar a otros. Cuando mi madre y yo entramos en la habitación donde él esperaba, inmediatamente corrí hacia él y empecé a llorar. Ojalá hubiera podido ser más fuerte, ya que supongo que él necesitaba apoyo emocional. Pero no pude. Sólo tenía nueve años.
     Mi padre no derramó ni una lágrima aquel día, estoy seguro de ello porque, a diferencia de la primera vez, que sólo recuerdo vagamente, la segunda y última vez que lo vi llorar está grabada indeleblemente en mi memoria. Era el verano de 1969. Mi hermano menor, Hugo, estaba gravemente enfermo y llevaba meses padeciendo. Se lastimó mientras jugaba en el banco del carpintero que estaba reparando nuestra casa. Tropezó y cayó, aterrizando con fuerza en el banco y se lesionó el páncreas. Le operaron tres veces, pero los médicos finalmente perdieron la esperanza y decidieron enviarlo a morir en su casa . Una vecina, que trabajaba de enfermera, acudía varias veces al día para inyectarle analgésicos por vía intravenosa. No obstante, una vez que el efecto del medicamento pasaba, el dolor volvía de manera insoportable. Su cuerpo se había deteriorado tanto que, en determinado momento, literalmente no era más que piel y huesos.
     Un domingo por la mañana que recuerdo nítidamente, encontré a mi padre junto a la cama de mi hermano, tratando de consolarlo, mientras yo me mantenía de pie cerca. De repente, mi padre perdió los estribos y salió furioso de la habitación, dirigiéndose hacia el patio trasero, gritando como un loco que ya no podía soportar ver a su hijo sufrir, deseando incluso que muriera para que la agonía terminara. Me quedé boquiabierto. Lo seguí afuera, donde él estaba sollozando de desesperación. Y de nuevo me sentí incapaz de ayudarlo. Simplemente me quedé allí a su lado, haciéndole compañía. No sabía qué más hacer. Sólo tenía catorce años. La dura verdad era que todos en nuestra familia, incluida mi madre, compartíamos ese mismo sentimiento. Sin embargo, las cosas no resultaron de esa manera. Mi hermano perdió el año escolar, pero logró sobrevivir y ocupa un lugar único en nuestros corazones porque, como mi madre solía expresar con su lenguaje tan poético: “Ese niño se lo arrancamos de los brazos a la muerte”. La muerte se había llevado a Noel, pero no pudo llevarse a Hugo.

©Traducido del inglés por William Almonte Jiménez, 2024
©Título original: “Men Don't Cry”
©William Almonte Jiménez, 2015

 
 
  

The Eye of the Storm

 Our only importance is that we have the ability to make contact with other human beings.

-Ingmar Bergman

Néstor woke up to the ringing of his alarm clock, feeling startled and irritable. With a strong and spiteful slap, he silenced the damned mechanism he hated so much. After a sleepless night, or sleeping at short intervals, tormented by inexplicable dreams, the worst thing that could happen to him was to be frightened by that infernal machine that forcibly took him out of the pleasant sleep he had finally managed to drift into at daybreak. He sat up on the bed for a moment, still half asleep, with shadows and shapeless lights swirling in his eyes. Letting out a long sigh, he looked at Edith, who lay sound asleep, half naked, wrapped in the sheets, and her disheveled hair. The realization of her presence restored his composure. Gently, so as not to wake her, he leaned down and kissed her buttocks, her shoulders, and her hair.
     In the shower, he floated amid the mist shrouding him and the memories coming to life in the spirals of water vapor.
     "What a pain!" he grumbled. "I don't want to rehash the past; I don't like to do it, but it always shows up without an invitation."
     Indeed, he despised revisiting the past, knowing it was behind him and should remain there. However, memories were constantly lurking, often assaulting him at the most inconvenient times. And there they were, haunting him in the shower, like ghosts performing a macabre dance, reproaching him for his failures, with their devilish laughter echoing from their hollow mouths as they let the shattered glass of his unfulfilled dreams slip through their skeletal hands. He reflected on the winding road he had traveled—his achievements, setbacks, the great mistakes, the dramatic divorce, the heart-wrenching separation from his children, the loneliness, unrequited loves, the disintegration of the psychic framework that defined his identity, and the descent into madness that he managed to avoid without turning to narcotics. Currently, his life resembled a ceasefire. Edith was a breakwater, the eye of the storm, the Sea of Tranquility, Sigma Octantis, Polaris, the counterweight that balanced the scale of his everyday existence. He hoped fervently that this state of peace would last as long as possible.
     He sipped his coffee while seated on a chair at the kitchen table. The rich aroma and bold flavor of freshly brewed coffee—black and strong, with a slight hint of nutmeg— gave him an ineffable pleasure that helped him shake off the lingering drowsiness from a restless night. Somehow, the morning coffee softened the acrid crust stuck to his soul, and that seemed to be reborn every morning, exacerbated by the strange dreams. He fastened his scarf, buttoned up his coat, and put on his cap before heading outside. 
  
The slow fall of the snow on the dimly lit street brought him a sense of tranquility. A group of individuals waiting at the bus stop huddled together in an effort to generate warmth and ward off the chill. The winter season compelled them to abandon their cherished personal space.
     He headed for the bakery at the corner. The man who usually slept on the sidewalk by the entrance, even in winter, covered by many blankets to withstand the freezing temperature, was still fast asleep. Upon entering the shop, which was already bustling with people despite the early hour, he was greeted by a delightful fragrance of newly baked bread, cookies, cakes, pies, and other pastries that permeated the air. He ordered his regular apple Danish, with its flaky, crispy crust and warm apple pieces sprinkled with cinnamon. That’s something he enjoyed very much.
     He stepped outside and immersed himself in the pale, almost ghostly mist created by the falling snow. The beggar was already awake and asked him for some change. Néstor searched his pockets and took out a loonie, which he placed in the man’s outstretched hand. After walking a short distance, he paused and returned to the homeless man, who looked at him with a puzzled expression. Once again, he searched his pockets, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to him.
     The sharp sound of the crossing guard’s whistle stopped the traffic. A group of children crossed the street, bundled up in their winter clothes, carrying their backpacks as they headed for school. This scene brought back memories of his children when they were little, when he would take them to school before going to work. This reminiscence put a smile on his face and wiped off the discomfort caused by the previous sleepless night. They were good boys, now grown and living on their own. They often came to see him, and they all would talk about the old days. They got along well with Edith, even though she was not their mother. Néstor figured that as long as they were doing well, he would be fine.
     The path leading to Eglinton West subway station always gave him the impression of being in a foreign land. It extended downhill alongside Allen Road, isolated from it by a noise barrier. On either side there were neatly lined trees, exhibiting their charming foliage, which changed with the seasons: bright, green, and new in spring; dark green and shiny in summer; orange, red, and yellow in autumn; and bare branches covered with snow or ice in winter. Walking under their mantle brought him joy and reminded him of the Boulevard Saint Michel, and Les Jardins du Luxembourg.
     At Eglinton West, before descending into the bowels of the earth, he picked up a newspaper. Once the train arrived, he took a seat at the back of the car, from where he could observe the crowd. He liked spying on people and guessing what their lives were like based on their facial expressions or the brightness in their eyes. The crowd was typical: those who were sleeping; those who were reading; the man with the briefcase, in a suit and tie, who was obviously in a hurry, as he was constantly looking at his watch; the girl who listened to music with tiny earphones in her ears, her eyes closed, bobbing her head, and whispering a melody; the girl who chatted loudly on her cell phone; the elderly man with an empty stare, who spoke to himself, seemingly lost in his thoughts and solitude.
     He unfolded the paper, pulled out the first section, and glanced at the headlines. Radioactivity in water higher than previously thought. Iraqi man kills daughter involved with Al-Qaida. Depression in men on the rise due to socioeconomic changes. 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Pakistan. Floods in the Philippines leave 51 dead and 1.6 million homeless. Suicide bomber kills 21 in Egyptian church. Philadelphia doctor accused of killing patients and newborns. Israeli soldier kills Palestinian at checkpoint. 15 headless bodies found in Mexico. Mother kills her children. American officer kills two Pakistanis in Lahore.
     The second section brought more hopeful news. Hundreds work in Vietnam to save the Sacred Tortoise. India and Bangladesh settle their border disputes. Radio stations in Senegal promote peace using local languages. Nepalese rebels join government. Cuba frees political prisoners. South Korean president begins talks with North Korea. Jordan lifts ban on public gatherings. Philippine government and rebels begin peace talks in Norway. Egyptian military agrees to transfer of power. Israeli woman gives birth in Palestinian hospital. Pizza delivery man saves elderly woman. Philanthropists give more than money; they donate their time and talent to students. Woman rescued after 24 hours in New Zealand earthquake.
  
When he arrived at the office, Rosina, the receptionist, greeted him with her usual cheerful smile and inquired about Edith. She enjoyed sharing harmless gossip and usually inquired about Néstor’s personal and romantic life, curious about how things were going. He happily would update her, as he saw no malice in her interest in his private affairs. Her face would light up with joy when he reported that everything was fine, and she would express genuine concern if the news was less favorable. He was very fond of her. She was married and had two young daughters. Néstor liked trying to read her mind through the expressions she displayed each day: apathy, enthusiasm, sadness, melancholy, worry.
     As he walked through the control center Mariela stood up and gave him a hug, as she did every morning. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it. They had been friends for a long time. From the very start, he and Mariela developed a close bond, and they came to the conclusion that the only healthy way to start the day was with a hug. When they first met, he was on his own, while Mariela was unhappily married. They both found comfort in those morning hugs. They were truly meant to be friends. Now he had Edith, just as she had her husband, but one thing had nothing to do with the other. Romantic relationships are frequently unpredictable; lovers come and go; nevertheless, the complicity between them always remained, like a safe haven in the middle of a hurricane. Their coworkers didn’t misinterpret them or spread rumors; they saw nothing inappropriate about that hug. Instead, they just watched this daily ritual, bewildered, unable to understand, and lacking the courage to step out of their own comfort zone and do the same. They stared at the couple with healthy envy, perhaps wishing they too had a safe harbor like theirs.
     After a morning of toiling in the warehouse, where he worked, receiving and shipping merchandise, he put on his coat and went out to grab a bite from the food cart that parked at the corner each day, serving hamburgers, hot dogs, and soda. The temperature had increased slightly, and the snow was beginning to melt. However, there was a chilly breeze, and everyone gathered around the cart, seeking its warmth and worshiping it as if it were the sacred life-giving fire. He ordered a Polish sausage with Perrier water. While eating, he engaged in conversation with Czeslaw and the other people present about sports, politics, and, inevitably, the miserable winter they were experiencing. But really, when had Winter ever been anything but miserable?   
     After he finished his meal, he didn't go back to the warehouse. He was only working half a shift that day because in the afternoon he had a doctor’s appointment. For months he had been experiencing pain deep within his abdomen. He had already undergone a few tests, and that afternoon he would receive the results.

At the doctor's office, Néstor listened with some indifference to what the doctor was telling him, as if the doctor was talking about someone else, not about him, as if he did not understand, or did not want to understand, the seriousness of what the doctor was communicating. In the best case, with treatment, his life could be prolonged to about five years. In the worst case, he would live around eight months, or a year.

The subway passengers were the usual crowd: those sleeping, those reading, those looking at their watches impatiently, those talking to themselves or on their cell phones. The only difference was a girl who was shamelessly kissing the boy beside her. A few riders, including Néstor, cast sidelong glances at them, frowning in disapproval. “Get a room!” thought Néstor to himself. They were aware of the attention they were attracting. She didn’t seem to care. “What the fuck!” “What the hell!” The boy was overwhelmed with embarrassment, but he couldn’t shake her off.
     Néstor was musing about what the doctor had told him, yet feeling detached and aloof, as if these events were happening to someone else rather than him, and he was merely reading about them in the newspaper or on the advertising signs pasted on the walls of the subway car. Once he exited the Eglinton West station, he thought no more about the matter; he left his potential death sentence buried in the belly of the steel snake. The temperature had risen, the snow had melted away, and rain had fallen. The tram tracks, still wet, were glowing, reflecting the orange light of the dying sun. The atmosphere was fresh. The rain had a way of cleansing everything: the air, the streets, the city, and even the souls and consciences.
     He didn't head home right away. Instead, he stopped by the churrasqueira to pick up some grilled chicken, potato dumplings, and seafood rice. The vibrant ambiance, the crowd of people buying their meals before going home, the enticing smell of so many tasty dishes, and the ever-jolly voice of Mrs Martinha calling out to the staff lifted his spirits.
     As he waited for his turn, he smiled, looking forward to being home in just fifteen minutes. Upon arriving, without even removing his coat, he would immediately switch on the radio tuned to 91.1 FM. Next, he would step into the shower and levitate in the steam of the hot water. After that, he would set the table with plates, food, and a bottle of wine. Finally, he would settle on the sofa to continue reading “Tess of the D’Urbervilles,” while enjoying the soothing trumpet of Miles Davis, the elegant piano of Oscar Peterson, the sensual saxophone of Stan Getz, and the lulling voice of Suzie Arioli. He would jump off the couch driven by a flash of joy as he heard the sound of Edith’s key opening the door; he would stand at the threshold, feeling her presence before she stepped inside; then they would embrace gently, their bodies pressed together, and time would stand still.
    Mrs. Martinha's voice, saying "17 dollars," snapped him out of his daze. After settling the bill, he stepped out of the churrasqueira. It was almost night. He looked down the street toward the horizon, still glowing and fractured by the sun’s rays, which was reluctantly going down. The magic of the air, which absorbs the blue light and lets the red shine through, never ceased to amaze him. The twilight appeared magnificent and enchanting, like it was yesterday, and every day before yesterday, like always. Nothing had changed.

© Translated from the Spanish by William Almonte Jiménez, 2024
© Spanish title: “Cuestión de Equilibrio”
© William Almonte Jiménez, 2011